Death by Duvet
Editor's note: This series
was inspired by a lengthy discussion on DorothyL about
duvets, starting with the definition of the word and moving
on to a spirited chat about the merits of duvets, personal
experiences with duvets, and so forth. What any of this had
to do with mysteries, the ostensible subject of the DorothyL
mailing list, is unknown.
from
Lev Raphael, author of Death by Duvet, featuring his
new sleuth, Cotton Matherson. Soon to be a Hallmark Hall of
Fame Summer Solstice Special, with Patsy Cornwell as the
psychiatrist.
from Lev Raphael, author of
Let's Get Ogival, a rather arch comic mystery
featuring the Poirot of the 90s, Jean-Michel DuVet.
from Lev Raphael, author of
Let's Get Political, in which Murphy Duvet, an
honest, decent, smart, literate, cheerful, thoughtful
senator investigates murky doings at OMB and finds a plot to
take over Andorra and turn it into a Disney theme park. Soon
to be a TV movie with Joey Hetherington.
I keep getting asked to sign
copies of Let's Get Subliminal, an erotic thriller
about Mona Duvet, an ad exec working on a senatorial
campaign who discovers that-- Well, who cares? I didn't
write it! I am not Rev. Gabriel.
from Lev Raphael, author of
Let's Get Satirical, which the Dallas Duvet &
Sentinel describes as "George of the Jungle" meets
"Ridicule."
from Lev Raphael, author of
Let's Get Episcopal, a futuristic religious thriller
in which Tiara Duvet, the U.S.'s first female Bishop, is
drawn into a tawdry web of international mystery convention
butt-kissing and nuclear terrorism.
from Lev Raphael, whose second
serial butt kissing religious legal medical supreme court
thriller, Let's Get Me to the Church on Time --
starring Tiara Duvet, the stirring combo of James Bond and
RuPaul -- will be broadcast to you from the dark side of the
moon and infiltrate your dreams.
from Lev Raphael, author of
Let's Get Crepuscular, a shadowy thriller starring
Tiara Duvet and Adrian Muller.
from Lev Raphael, author of
Let's Get Scribal, a medieval midlist thriller starring
the Duke of Ni, an ancestor of Tiara Duvet (French for
Duchovny).
from Lev Raphael, author of
Let's Get Back To Talking About Mysteries, a Tiara
Duvet/DorothyL talk show thriller, soon to be a mini-series
starring Charlie Sheen and Sheena Easton.
from Lev Raphael, author of
Let's Get Viral, a Tiara Duvet medico-thriller, soon
to be a feature film with Jennifer Jason Leigh and Al
Pacino, with music by Puff Daddy and Prodigy.
by Lev Raphael, author of
Let's Get Publicity, a Novel of Intense Suspense, in
which aspiring author Tiara Duvet holds Jim Palmer of the
Money Store hostage because he denied her a $50,000 loan she
needed to do PR for her first book.
from Lev Raphael, whose next
Tiara Duvet book is an ecological, legal, medical,
religious, erotic, political, deconstructionist thriller:
Let's Get Derrida-Da.
from Lev Raphael, author of
the new thriller The Texas Chain Store Massacres,
starring former bishop Tiara Duvet ("My name is Duvet, Tiara
Duvet"). Soon to be a Lifetime TV movie starring Tyra Banks
and Russell Baker, with music by Cesaria Evora. Sodade,
everyone....
from Lev Raphael, author of
Death by BSP, in which Tiara Duvet investigates a
fiendish plot by self-promoting authors to take over
cyberspace, starting with DorothyL.
from Lev Raphael, author of
The Marathon Murders, in which intrepid, buffed, but
chic sleuth Tiara Duvet sponsors a marathon to publicize her
new book, but runners not only drop out--they drop dead!
Still, PR is PR.......
from Lev Raphael, author of
The Fatal Futon, a Tiara Duvet thriller set in Japan,
part-James Bond, part-Thousand Cranes. Read by Grace
Jones on CD, with music by A Flock of Seagulls.
from Lev Raphael, author of
The Midlist Murders, a thriller set in the publishing
industry, starring Tiara Duchov--sorry, Tiara Duvet, witty
scamp and martial arts expert.
Lev Raphael, whose Tiara Duvet
has a life of her own now that she's a DorothyL nom. What's
next for this "funky but chic" blend of Grace Jones and
James Bond?
from Lev Raphael, author of
The Infra Dig Murders, in which scheming Virus Duvet,
Tiara Duvet's evil twin sister, plots to destroy the English
language itself by infecting TV newscaster with bad
subject-verb agreement. But first she sows panic by
spreading rumors on the Net about phony
viruses.......
From: Lev Raphael
Subject: TiaraCon
The Grand Event is nigh! The con to end all cons:
"TiaraCon," sponsored by TIARAS ARE US
(hhtp://www.tiaras.com). Held on the faboo island of
Mustique on a date soon to be announced, this con will blow
every other con out of the water! Panels will include such
yummy topics as "The Duvet and Christian Mystery Writers."
And every registrant will get his or her own tiara with the
registration packet. Could you just die?!
From: Lev Raphael
Subject: Duvet the Deconstructionist!
Duvetconstructionism by Tiara Duvet and Gayatri
Chakravorty Spivak, with a forward by Rudolf Guiliani.
Chicago University Press, 459 pp., $35.95 B
SP hits the academy! With the brio of Conan the Barbarian
and the muscle of Harold Bloom, this stunning new tome
confirms what many of of had already guessed: all literature
is not self-referential and about the inability to make
meaning. Forget the "abyss of deconstructionism"! Bring on
the Abbess of Deconstructionism: Tiara Duvet, who shows us
that every book is about her, or barring that, about the
inability to truly capture the genius of this ultra-chic
polymath (Grace Jones meets James Bond and Steven Hawking).
English and Comp. Lit. departments around the country are
already starting Duvet Studies. Catch the wave!
From: Lev Raphael
Subject: Faboo Award Update
All proceedings of the Faboo Awards Committee will be
carried live on WDVT-TV, the 24-hour Faboo Network, from
noon-5 PM daily. Judges will ruminate on their decisions in
a stirring and glittering combination of roller derby and
wine tasting. Moderator: Dame Edna. Check local listings.
From: Lev Raphael
Subject: Best Opening Lines of 1997
from Death By Duvet, by Jasper Minktree (Porter
House, $23.95): "It was no ordinary Duvet." from Shear
Murder, by Ti-Grace Donzell (Cyber Systers, $24): "Her
hair was cropped close to her head, and she was dead."
Reviews
Date: Sun, 28 Sep 1997
00:37:47 -0400
From: Lev Raphael
Subject: REVIEW: Deja Duvet
Deja Duvet St. Hilda's
Press, 176 pp., 23.95 by Lucretia Petitgout
Set in the Big Easy, this
stunning debut thriller features Tiara Duvet, the former
fashion model turned action heroine turned bishop turned
international smuggler turned PI turned rock star. Duvet
goes undercover in a morgue (but not as a corpse) to uncover
neck-rophiliacs.
The book is loaded with
metaphors, similes, and palindromes, taking readers for a
bumper-car ride through the wild and boozy streets of one of
America's great cities. Unforgettable scene: Tiara Duvet at
Mardi Gras shouting "Show you my WHAT?"
S P O I L E R
Tiara Duvet wears the same
outfit twice while being pursued up the Mississippi, which
is really hard to believe.....!
E N D O F S P O I L E R
Date: Tue, 30 Sep 1997
06:02:21 -0400
From: Lev Raphael
Subject: REVIEW: Tiara Duvet Must Die!
Tiara Duvet Must Die!
St. Hilda's Press, 1997, 453 pp., $25.95
by Lucretia Petitgout, writing as Devon Manley-Cragg
You've thrilled at the
rock'em, sock'em action of War and Peace. You've
sounded the depths of human emotion in Speed 2.
You've tasted the metaphyscial thrills of going to
"Dollywood." Well, you've ready for Tiara Duvet Must
Die!
Promoting her memoir, Duvet
or Not Duvet, Tiara Duvet hires the QE II for a
masquerade promotion party with all the resplendent excess
of a Malcolm Forbes picnic, taking BSP to its ultimate
limit--and beyond! But the treacherous agents of a rival
publisher have plans for hijacking the boat and killing
Duvet, who refused to sign a 3-book deal with them. She's
been called Steven Seagal in Versace, but can this most
elegant of action heroines outwit her infernal enemies? And
keep that luster in her hair? The book is such an amazing
page turner you'll turn more than one at a time!
Date: Sun, 5 Oct 1997 17:43:07
-0400
From: Lev Raphael
Subject: REVIEW: Apocalypstick Now!
Apocalypstick Now! St.
Hilda's Press, 457 pp., $25.95
by Lucretia Petitgout writing as Devon Manley-Cragg
Tiara Duvet faces her most
exciting challenge in this enigmatic but dazzling thriller
which races through the love-strewn streets of Paris with
all the wild grace of a fallen angel in sugar shock.
When Simone de Boudoir,
millionaire makeup maven, disappears into the silken wilds
of the Faubourg St. Germain, Tiara Duvet must track her down
before her controversial new plutonium-based formula for a
truly killer lipstick is stolen and misused by a rogue
librarian intent on world domination.
This book has everything: it's
a culinary cozy wrapped in the arms of a high-concept
thriller, and baby, do they make beautiful music
together.
from Lev Raphael, author of
The Edith Wharton Murders, currently being filmed as
a made-for-TV epic with Valerie Bertinelli.
Date: Thu, 9 Oct 1997 17:34:57
-0400
From: Lev Raphael
Subject: REVIEW: Canyon of Death
Canyon of Death St.
Hilda's Press, 237 pp., $21.95
by Devon Mannley-Cragg writing as D. P. Crevisse
This has got to be Tiara
Duvet's most stunning adventure yet! It starts with the
ultimate act of BSP: The Divine Duvet rents the Grand Canyon
for a soiree to celebrate the opening of Faboo University, a
school specializing in fabulous honorary degrees, from B.A.
to Ph.D. But a SWAT team of radical environmentalists
disrupts the intimate affair, setting a bomb, seizing
several famous guests, and--yes!--drinking all the Veuve
Clicquot before they escape down the Colorado River. Duvet
gives chase (she gives great chase!) and discovers along the
way a secret colony of Nazis plotting to de-fluoridate the
US. This is truly a heart-stopping, breath-taking,
pause-giving (but deeply imbued with human values)
thriller-cum-emotional rodeo.
Date: Sun, 19 Oct 1997
09:40:57 -0400
From: Lev Raphael
Subject: REVIEW: Mir Murder?
Mir Murder? St. Hilda's
Press, 478 pp., $25.00
by Devin Mannley-Cragg writing as Marvella Briquette
This latest Tiara Duvet epic
takes BSP where it's never gone before: into space!! La
Duvet decides to promote her new project, Dance, You Fat
Bitch! (an in-your-face exercise guide and video), by
launching her own space shuttle. But in orbit, she crashes
into the Russian vessel Mir, where there's been a murder,
maybe. Talk about your locked-door mystery! Can Tiara solve
the case and keep the Cold War from re-erupting? The burning
prose here reaches for the stars:
"Tiara Duvet was a fiery
warrior, a wild woman of the world, a dancing demon, a
divine devil with a blue dress who took no prisoners because
she travelled light."
Death by Duvet
All text copyright © 1997-2009 by Lev Raphael.
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