Little Miss Evil cover


The Death of a Constant Lover


The Edith Wharton Murders by Lev Raphael




From Lev Raphael...

Product lines

When the Let's Get Criminal action figures are available, you'll be at the top of the list, barring any problems with overseas distribution and a flood of calls on my 900 number. 1-900-CALL-LEV.

Press 1--For excerpts from my next five books
Press 2--For excerpts from my last five books
Press 3--For my secret wishes & fears
Press 4--For merchandising information

Subject: 1-900-CALL-LEV

The response to the number's been so great that I've expanded it to include:

Press 5--For tour schedule
Press 6--For a short reading from my next book
Press 7--For mystery con fashion tips

Subject: 1-900-CALL-LEV (Important PS)

Just a reminder: you must be over 18 to call this number, or have permission from your editor, agent, or mystery bookseller.

Billing will commence after the first quip.

Subject: Action Figures

Manufacturing problems have led to a temporary halt in production, but call 1-900-CALL-LEV and press 7 for counselors to help you deal with the emotional turmoil. And press 8 if you were an investor.

Subject: Action Figures Warning!

Before y'all jump on the action figures bandwagon I started and then fled, you should know the truth.

I said there'd been some manufacturing problems and offered a helpline for upset consumers and investors, and hope that would be a word to the wise. Didn't work.

And I can't stand the thought of so many authors endangering their fans. Okay, then. Remember the doll that ate kids' hair?

Imagine what could happen with mystery action figures that got--shall we say--too active?

The rest is silence--unless you call 1-900-CALL-LEV and press 9 for more Wes Craven-like details.

Subject: Action Figures Warning--PS

I've just heard from Phyllis Richman, quoting unnamed sources inside the Justice Department, that there are already plans for an investigation of action figures manufacturing and advertisement--before anything's even hit the stores.

Apparently there have been consumer complaints based on the *fear* of being injured, and there's even a rumor of a class-action suit as well, independent of gov't action (ouch). As authors making vast sums, we are easy targets for litigation.

So, if you want to end up looking as foolish as Kathie Lee Gifford and have people sadly shake their heads and mutter "Busted" when your name comes up, go ahead with your plans.

But don't say you haven't been warned.....

Thanks for the great reviews of Let's Get Criminal. So what if I made a mistake and let my good bud Kathie Lee Gifford take over the manufacturing end of the action figures? How was I to know she'd employ slave labor in Mauritania, and the figures would have some hideous problems? At least I've earned some fans who might write to me in prison. You will write, won't you--?

Subject: Computer Warning

There's worse trouble than out-of-control action figures, I've learned. I made the terrible mistake of switching from my Sparkle Hayter Screensaver to my Patsy Cornwell Screensaver in the same day.

Norton PsychPro diagnosed me and my computer as suffering from a manic-depressive virus and shut everything down to spare us further emotional turmoil.

Try explaining this to your computer repair guy.....

from Lev Raphael, author of The Sparkle Hayter Story, an AMC movie original starring Tim Robbins, Tom Robbins, and Robin Givens. Music by Echo and the Bunnymen, Sade, and Holst.

I hope you enjoy the new line of LGC table linens and patio furniture. Soon to be available at a Nordstrom's near you.

I'm very proud to announce that Let's Get Criminal is the inspiration behind a new perfume by Arpege:


Witty, and just slightly outside the law, with the musky scent of nights spent reading Roland Barthes.

If you have to ask how much it costs per ounce, you can't afford it.

Available exclusively at Bonwit's.

Arpege is also bringing out a companion scent:


Unprounceable, unforgettable--an enigma inside a chimera inside a conundrum. For when you want to mystify the one you love.

from Lev Raphael, author of Scent of a Human, a thriller with aliens.

Subject: You Can Be A Winner!

The Edith Wharton Murders was released the first day of the UPS strike, so the first person to spot it in a book store and supply convincing forensic detail (sales slip acceptable) will be a BIG WINNER OF:

--A full supply of Let's Get Criminal linens and fabulous tableware.

--A 2-ounce bottle of Criminel, haughty and slightly taboo.

--Ditto Siobhan, mysterious and memorable (sort of).

--And the latest Raphael-inspired scent: Tiara, for when you're feeling naughty, but aristocratic.

From Lev Raphael...

Original Productions (Let's Get Criminal)

Let's Get Signatory

The Edith Wharton Signatures

Product Lines

Death by Duvet

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All text copyright © 1997-2009 by Lev Raphael.